Between mind and mouth, brain and body, we all have a set of filters.

They generally serve the purpose of not getting us killed, either by those who would be offended by our carrying out every impulse, or our own stupid actions. They keep us in our jobs, even if we hate them, because we understand we need them more. They help maintain our sanity by not allowing us to go down the mental paths too far away from it.

This is an attempt to capture the thoughts that don't make it out, a few steps behind some of my filters. When I'm being quiet and distant, and people ask me what I'm thinking, and I say, "Nothing." to get rid of them, these are the things going through my mind. This is here for myself, primarily. If you know me personally, be very careful if you decide to approach one of these subjects or act upon them.

In all honesty, I do believe that there is likely something "wrong" with me, to some degree. I like to joke about how I would sit and bang my head into walls, hard, for long periods of time as a kid, how I used to play with mercury. That I spent more time with animals than other children; how I just don't comprehend what I see in a mirror and steal/destroy any pictures of me someone manages to catch. I stopped writing anything down years ago because of some conflict with language that made me destroy just about everything I'd written prior, and it's difficult getting back into the habit now that I want to start again. There's usually too much noise in my head, besides the tinnitus, to keep track of everything going on. I've had to teach myself to ignore things so I wouldn't overload, because I'd notice too much.

But everything locked down has to come out eventually.

It will happen here.